Some people are opposed to the idea of building intentional relationships with people who need Jesus. They think those relationships are fake. While it is very possible to be non-genuine in a relationship by only using it to tell someone the gospel, it is also very possible to have deeply meaningful relationships that are also intentional. For example, parents love their children dearly and want a deep, meaningful relationship with them. At the same time, parents are intentional in those relationships as they work to develop their kids into the right kind of adults.

In the same way, we are building meaningful friendships with people in our lives who need Jesus, and at the same time we are being intentional about introducing them to Christ. But how do we make sure our relationships are intentional? The biggest way we see Jesus bringing intentionality into his relationships is through questions.

The questions you ask the people in your life shape your conversations and move your relationship in a direction. If the only questions you ask are things to do with pop culture or politics, then your relationships will sit at that level. But as soon as you ask questions about a person’s desires for the future, or their concerns for their family, or the person they hope to become, your conversations move to a whole different level. Talking with people about their personal lives helps both you and them to identify their deep felt-needs in life.

When your relationship is comfortable talking at this personal level it is much more meaningful. At that point, asking questions that lead to spiritual conversations will lead to open discussions that are very real and genuine. That’s when the gospel can naturally fit and will find open hearts.

If you have relationships that you want to become intentional with and move towards God-conversations, learn to ask the right questions that will move that relationship towards Christ!


6 Responses

    • Sure Jennifer,

      If you are wanting to move into conversations that are deeper than surface talk, you might ask questions about relationships. For example, “Who has been the biggest influence in your life?” “Do you get along with your parents?”

      If you are wanting to start a spiritual conversation, mention the pandemic and ask, “What do you think happens when a person dies?” or simply ask, “What do you think about God?” or “Tell me about your journey with God.” These are just a few examples of questions that can open up a great conversation.

      If a person clearly doesn’t want to go deep on your question, you don’t push it. Just wait for another opportunity to ask a good question and trust God with the timing!

  1. I’m always on lookout for new relationships with the intention that sometime down the track I’ll be able to introduce Lord Jesus Christ to them. Your blog is wonderful. It’s helpful and gives me ideas on how to proceed. May God bless you all at AFCI

  2. This is great! I am learning to be intentional about ensuring I ask intentional questions if that makes sense 🙂 So this was good for me to read today.
    This might be one of the biggest keys in bringing people to Jesus I think.

    Thank you 🙂

    • One of the biggest keys for sure. There’s a good reason that in the limited number of Jesus’ encounters that are recorded in the gospels, we see him asking questions more than 150 times!

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