Single people from all walks of life often wonder if dating a non-Christian is a good idea. Oftentimes that question arises when the person already has a non-Christian they like in their life and are unsure of whether or not to go ahead and enter a significant relationship.


The Bible doesn’t give us a list of 15 rules we must follow when we start dating, but it gives us a clear picture of what it means to be in the world and not of the world as a Christian.


And that is the lens from which we will look at this topic today:


What does it mean to be a Christian?

If you are a believer and profess to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, there is no getting around the fact that this is by far the most influential relationship you will ever have.

It’s a relationship that will shape your identity, form your beliefs, influence your choices and guide the entire purpose of your life. It’s a relationship that will not just change you, it will re-create you. You are made absolutely new. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Being a Christian is about so much more than just being a moral person. Being a believer means that your relationship with God has absolutely, entirely and clearly changed your life.

I realise this blog post is about dating, not about marriage, but I’m going to jump ahead to marriage because even if you’re not sure that is where the relationship will end up, that possibility should be a consideration when you’re deciding who to date.




What is marriage?

God designed marriage. That means that he knows best how it should operate. His word gives us the principles we need for satisfying marriages. It takes three to make a good marriage: God, the man, and the woman. For a Christian to marry an unbeliever is to enter marriage lacking something essential. Marriage has been described as a triangle with God at the top: the closer each partner moves to God, the closer they move toward each other. The further each moves from God, the further they move from each other. As soon as Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they experienced alienation from each other and Adam began blaming Eve for his problems.

Broken marriages always involve at least one partner moving away from God.


Building a life on two different foundations.

As a Christian, your life is built on a desire to trust and follow Jesus to the ends of the earth. For the other person who is not a Christian, it is very likely that they have built their life on a desire for success, money, health etc. Things that are good, but not necessarily heavenly. Somewhere, at some point, you will realise that you are building a life as a couple on two different foundations.

And if dating turns into marriage, this will cause a lot of disagreements around finance management, your children’s education, and religious beliefs.


Last thoughts

It is not my job as a person sitting behind a laptop typing out a blog post to tell you who you should or shouldn’t date. That is your responsibility. Make sure you talk about it with your family, friends and people who are responsible for your spiritual growth (your pastor, youth leader etc).

However, one thing I want you to take away from this article is this: How do you imagine your life? Do you imagine yourself serving the Lord wholeheartedly? Do you imagine being involved in ministry? Do you imagine attending church with your husband/wife? Do you imagine your children growing up to love Jesus?

Because if you imagine yourself living a devoted life for Jesus, dating a non-Christian might get in the way of that life. Do you want to pay that price?


11 Responses

  1. Speaking by experience, it is a far-from-God-idea. Although I had given my life to Jesus in 1997, when I lost my first baby, (died before I got to hold), and had no arms or legs, due to medication. We had 3 other children, and I went ahead and married him, although he was abusive in many ways. I thought it was best to marry rather than live-in-sin. This was my worse decision ever. We divorced 12 years after getting married, (been together 20 years in total). It was not a 3 way marriage, God was not the centre. My husband was a Catholic taught, but not living. God has forgiven me. My advice to anybody thinking of it. Please, don’t make the same mistake as I did.

    • Margie, thank you for your comment. We pray that God will use your story for his glory! Thank you for the advice! We hope that this verse encourages you! Psalm 23:3 (ESV) “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

  2. I am a Christian, married to a non-christian, and after 27 years married, we are still together. My wife is a very worldly, non-Christian, raised by worldly non-christian patent’s. All I can do is continue to pray for them and live the Christian life in their presence. Will a non-christian spouse ever become a Christian? After knowing my wife for 30 years, I am still waiting to see this change, from a worldly person, to a spirit filled Christian. Do you think this is possible…after 30 years! Both my wife and her parents, are motivated and driven by money, success and consumerism. Will this ever change for the better in my lifetime, or their lifetime?
    In His Saviour’s Love,
    Garry O’brien ,

    • Garry, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. You were right to say that all you can do is pray for her, continue to live the Christian life in her presence, show her the love of Jesus and trust God for her salvation! We hope that Ephesians 4:2 encourages you – Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

    • Hi Maryann, Thank you for your comment. I hope that Proverbs 3:5-6 encourage you today. I pray for wisdom and clarity in God’s leading to be upon you as you make your decision.

      “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight”
      Prov 3:5-6

  3. Hi Alexandra, i am a Catholic. I was baptized, had communion, and did my reconciliation day. My family isn’t very religious so i would consider myself more of an atheist than anything. Reading this gave me a different perspective on my curent situation. However i would like to make a point. My idea about life is not based around money, health and whatever else. If it was my future asperation would be to own a masive company that pulps people for every cent they own. My idea and perspective on life is about love and how you share it with others. If i wanted money i would not be a swim teacher, teaching skills that will potentially save one of these kids lives. And to me thats enough to keep me going. I could tell you my situation but you would probably laugh. So i am happy to maby give you a different perspective, after all things are not alwaus as they seem. Thank you for making it this far and would love to hear back from you.

    • Hi Aidan, Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us. I admire your heart and dedication to help others. Let me share a glimpse of myself too! 🙂 Please go to this link as I have shared how Jesus met me few years back:

      I used to think that fulfilling rites, rituals and doing good works to other people can give me peace about life and death. When I met Christ, I was humbled when I learned what it says in Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

      Christianity is the only religion that offers true inner peace for today and hope for the future through a real and personal relationship with God. That relationship comes, not because of good things I do, but because of what God has already done for me through Jesus. (Romans 5:6-11)

      Bless you, Aidan!

  4. I married a non Christian 15 years ago, I don’t like to put labels on people Christian, non-Christian, atheist, Catholic etc. I was brought up in the church as was my mother who was a great woman with good values. However she got bogged down social status, popularity and petty things associated with so called CHristians. My husbands family are hard workers, no nonsense people. I truly believe in God and general Christian values “Do unto others” and many others.
    My husband is great kind man a lot more “Christian” than the so called Christians. I can say this after belonging to several church communities, my basic beliefs are solid but we need to use our intelligence, experience, analyse texts in the bible that were written by many people thousands of years ago and assess what is really happening around us.

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